Confused and Frustrated

I officially declare that I do not get people. It seems that over the course of the last 6 months I have watched my group of friends dwindle to almost nothing. People I have stood by through any issues they may have had have suddenly decided that I am not worth the same amount of effort (or even a portion of that effort). I literally sent out 5 emails to people I considered really good friends this morning who simply vanished after ditching something I had stressed was very important to me…Of course I am not referring to everybody I know as that would simply be idiotic, but MANY of those I thought were close friends have let me down so badly that I question what their intention was all along.

I was forced off my baseball team by someone who claimed to be my close friend; a guy who has had his share of issues and has driven most of those close to him far away. Not me. I was loyal and tried my best to understand what he was going through, provide an ear to listen and offer any support I could afford to give. How was I repaid? By being yelled at constantly, having everything I do critiqued in an ultra negative fashion, and called names. My final straw was an evening in which my wife made him dinner and while ate, he did nothing but tell me I was doing things wrong, had alienated the team and was hated by almost everyone…he was just sayin'…of course, it was more important to protect the identity of people he just met than to help his FRIEND, which told me that he is not REALLY my friend. He would much rather have the approvals of a group of strangers while throwing his friend under the bus…

I was told that specific people hated me on this team and even after talking to them; nobody thought to speak to Kirby (his name for our purposes here) to ask him to stop spreading such “obvious lies”. The team got hammered every time out, yet NOBODY bothered to ask why I was absent…instead they just listened to Kirby's convoluted version of events all the while claiming that this did not represent their actual feelings. I fought for that team (keeping players on it so we do not forfeit) only to have everyone believe the words of a known liar over me. He abandoned his responsibilities and dumped them on me, which I gladly did in order to keep the team going. He complained bitterly about almost everyone on the team, while I tried to explain that it was a rec league. He refused to carry equipment or pick me up (Both thing s he had agreed on in the beginning), forcing someone else on our team to pick up these responsibilities. Yet as the season wound down, I get emails stating that Kirby has made a decision on MVP etc…who cares???? Really… Why should he have any say since all he did was hurt the team? Whether anyone will admit that or not, is a different story but I can say with 100% certainty that his treatment of me ruined the teams chances of success…too bad nobody actually cares what happened. This is reason number 1 as to why you must look out for you and NOBODY else...NOBODY else cares about you, so you had better

People cannot simply handle someone who is honest. My advice on matters such as this…sit down, be quiet and never encourage or discourage anyone…NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR IT. That's not true actually as they listened to Kirby, despite the fact that he would scream, yell swear and pout. Apparently whatever he told them had far more impact than what I tried to do in person…I must have been lying when I said “nice try” or “don't worry about it”. I really meant, “You all suck compared to me”…sorry for the confusion!

That actually rings true in most cases. You cannot have any sort of opinion that clashes with anyone else's if you want to be friends with him or her. Everyone has to agree wholeheartedly as any difference in opinion is deemed “difficult”. We live in an era where you have to be a yes person and pander to those who are lacking the confidence to handle any criticism. I have far too many of these people in my life so in a way, this is a good exercise for me…trimming the fat and eliminating the stresses in my life. Most of my stresses are people related so this is an excellent way to start!!!

I am looking forward to the birth of our daughter for a number of reasons…first and foremost; I am excited about raising a child with my wife. I feel that we both have the skills and personalities to raise a beautiful, healthy, well-adjusted and intelligent little girl and it will give my life a new focus, which is so desperately lacking. No longer will this sort of thing bother me, as I will have bigger fish to fry so to speak. I will not raise her to be soft, and lacking in self-esteem. I will try and instill the value of logic, common sense, compassion, understanding and selflessness, but at the same time conviction and determination.

I pray that the world recovers and you know longer have to dumb yourself down just to be happy. I will use this blog as an outlet for any negative energy I have as despite the façade of everyone loves everyone else that seems to be pervasive, it is just that, a façade. Most are no sooner out of earshot when those they were with begin the slam fest. I call it the “ME, fuck you” generation and it is a scary place to live. Not too mention, lonely.

I wonder what happened to my jerseys?…again, a little effort seemed too much to ask….

My Summer Love Affair is drawing to an end

It is amazing how quickly sports can play with your emotions. For me it was over in 7 days; the first 7 days of the season. 0-7. How? There was so much promise. So many new exciting faces to compliment the foundation that was already built. So many young players "ready" to take that next step to greatness or simply getting the chance to it on the grand stage. Hopes were sky high in Tigertown, but before I even returned from Florida it was spiraling down the drain...7 straight losses took what was such a promising season and crushed it right before my eyes. Finally a summer where I would have enough free time to actually get back into the game and it was over after the first blink.

Do not get me wrong, I love a good chase but this season has felt like chasing a moving object...each time we (yes I refer to myself as part of the team) draw to within striking distance, the wheels come off and we end up further back then we started. Verlander turns it around, Rogers goes in the tank. Dontrelle has been a bust, so was Jacques Jones, Shef looks 225. Mags has been hurt, Polanco has been solid, Guillen had been an all star until injuries seem to have gotten the best of him. Cabrera and Granderson have been two of the lone bright spots, but the most troubling areas of the season have been the bullpen and the D. How can you win if you cannot field the ball? Conversely how can you win if you cannot hold a lead or at least stop the bleeding??

I am not one to point fingers, but I am hoping that some valuable lessons have been learned and that next year will be the year that this should have been...

All that being said, I am a very lucky guy for having rediscovered my love of this amazing game. The grace, the beauty, the power, the speed and most of all the familiarity and consistency. No matter how my day went, no matter what the weather was like I could count on my Tigers 162 out of 175 consecutive days (with a few rainouts sprinkled in...). They never give me attitude, they never complain about how I do things, they do not question my loyalty, they just are. Bless you Boys!

Would you really want to play?

So I was just perusing the classifieds looking for fun folks to jam with and came across a really funny argument, and I wanted to comment to both of the participants. To the guys who do not want a girl in their band...your choice of words was a little well, ignorant, but you can be commended for being honest...not enough folks like you around. , but you have to expect the psychos on craigslist to jump all over that... To the lunatic who bothered replying with venom; honestly in my opinion you look worse than the person you are criticizing. If they do bnot want a girl in their band, the do not want a girl in their band, accept it and move on, that is their right lol. And BTW, you actually provided back up for their comment. I have played in bands with MANY girls and FROM MY EXPERIENCE (that is key you read that) they are the hardest to work with. I have never had a guy walk out of practice pouting or lock them self in the van when we were being "mean" causing us to be late for a gig, or refusing to carry gear because they are the singer. If you have never done any of these, awesome, you are helping change my impression, however, from MY EXPERIENCE, I feel the exact same way as they do. I would not want to play in a band with a girl unless she was able to demonstrate that she talented as well as motivated, stable and understands what goes into making it work. So while you choose to call him chauvinist or whatever, your energy would have been much better served explaining to him in an email why you feel you are DIFFERENT and really do want a shot at singing in the band. BUT sadly you choose to be a bitter, obviously unsuccessful, venomous person with nothing constructive to say at all who I feel extremely bad for. It does beg the question; why would you even want to be in this band if his comment offended you so much? My guess is you don’t, you just wanted to attack the poster to make yourself feel like you are making a difference. Did it work? I don’t think so… I welcome your angry response as it will only bolster my point, but I am really hoping you get what I am trying to say...ignore the “ignorance” that does not affect you, otherwise you will drive yourself crazy and have a really depressing life

"Did you see that, that was such bullshit!" screams my brother -in-law, on the phone from Yankee Stadium in New York. Why would I receive such an irate phone call at 2:30 on a beautiful Sunday afternoon? You guessed it, another umpire had taken matters into his own hands and altered the outcome of a game, by initially calling Greg Zaun safe and then changing his mind, and calling him out, robbing the Blue Jays of the go ahead run in their afternoon tilt with the Yankees. This seems to happen far too often these days, an umpire or referee making a ridiculous call for whatever reason, but no matter what it significantly alters the history of sport, shatters the dreams of loyal fans, costs people jobs, turns entire cities on their ear. I still hate Stephan Walkom for awarding that lame penalty shot to Jason Blake in the 2002 first round series between the Leafs and Islanders. Sure, the Leafs won, but that call turned the momentum in the Islanders favour when it looked like the Leafs were about to seize the series by the throat. It is hard enough when your team is defeated by a mortal enemy but when that enemy does not even have the skill to play the game, that is simply wrong.
My two favourite examples are first back in 2001 in a game between Jacksonville Jaguars and my Cleveland Browns; with the season hanging in the balance Cleveland came up with what appeared to be two game winning stops in the dying moments, only to have the referees revert back TWO plays, review the play, and change the call, allowing Jacksonville to continue on and steal not only the victory, but the season away from The Browns and everyone in Cleveland. We were so infuriated we threw a tennis ball and a beer bottle towards the field in disgust, only to have everyone else in the dawg pound join in. The rest is hazy as we bolted for the car on our way home (BUT we have since been voted the 2nd worst fans ever!!! By TSN). My point is that ever since that day, Cleveland football has been in a downward spiral. Are they related? Hard to say, but, had the referees not decided to take the game into their hands, the Brownies may not be in such a sorry state, after all, a playoff berth can do wonders for a team (more fans, easier to attract free agents, more respect throughout the league.
The other example is to reach back to 1985, game 6 of the World Series, Jorge Orta at the plate. Todd Worrell on the mound, bottom of the 9th, Cards leading 1-0 and the world watching...slow roller to Jack Clark, flip to Worrell, one out - but wait, Don Denkinger called Orta safe!!! Sure it was a bang-bang play, but in all honesty it was probably one of the worst calls ever and I write this as I am literally wearing a Royals cap...No matter what angle you look at it from, no matter what speed, in each instance Orta is clearly out and what is worse Dekinger signals safe before either the ball or the runner arrived on the scene. A few batters later KC eeked out a 2-1 victory and two nights later were World Champs as the Cardinals never recovered from that. History had been altered by someone paid to protect the integrity of the game.
It is funny though that rarely (until recently I would have said never) are umpires ever questioned or called out publicly by league officials to defend these obvious errors, yet things get worse...look at the NBA and Tim Donaghy...the guy was betting on games he officiated, and one can only guess how long this went on for. What can we do about it though? Nothing, except continue to voice our concerns. We can tear down the athletes so it is high time we took a serious look at the officiating. I am tired of it.

TTC ignores those who keep it going

It is great that you are open until 7AM for Nuit Blanche, but why is it you cannot stay open late on New Year's Eve or even to last call on a regular weekend. Instead you choose to force people to drink and drive, by not providing them with a safe, affordable option. It is sad that Adam Giambrone has become a glorified pimp, proving by this financially motivated move that the TTC is nothing more than a WHORE for the highest corporate bidder (the majority of whom do not use on a regular basis, instead they drive and further tax our environment for their own selfish enjoyment) . It is obvious that you care more about money than the safety of the citizens of Toronto. Maybe it is time you spend some time remembering that the TTC is the better way...not the better way if you have millions of dollars to dictate our service. Pathetic indeed.