Saturday, April 24, 2010

A tale of two teams…

Don’t get me wrong, I am much happier at this point of the year than I thought I would be, however there is an aura of foreboding doom that seems to be swirling in my mind through 3 weeks of the MLB season. We will call it the good, the bad and the ominous, as there has not been much of the ugly so far…

Let it be known that I am writing this as I watch the Tigers Rangers game so I may have to throw random insults towards Vlad “I’m so old I can barely walk” Guerrero…I am really growing to hate him in a Denard Span type way...and of course as I finish that sentence the stupid asshole hits a double…that’s like 108 hits in this series for Grandpa Guerrero…

The Good…

Johnny D. looks like he is on a mission; rejuvenated with a notable chip on his shoulder. I really hope he calls Scott Boras and curses him out every single night for making him look like such a clown in the off season. I frankly could care less as he is looking like the biggest bargain acquisition of 2010.

Can someone please tell me who was dressed up as Magglio Ordonez last year?? Whoever is playing right field everyday is clearly not the same sack of garbage that was masquerading as a Major League ball player last season. I do not really care what the explanation is; he is crushing the ball this season…fingers crossed it keeps up at a reasonable pace. To quote Rod Allen, “ He is playing with the enthusiasm of a little kid”

Clearly rehab helped Miguel Cabrera. I can again wear my jersey with pride, and that unopened bottle of Spumante Bambino that was chilling on ice for the last week of September/first week of October no longer makes me want to punch things. He is dominating so far and helping all 3 of my fantasy teams in the process. I like the fro and am thinking there may be a Samson themed promotion coming this year to Comerica Park.

Austin Jackson and Scott Sizemore have been very serviceable in their first month of the season. I pray every night that they keep it up. This Boesch kid has looked great…in a 2 game sample, but hey, I am used to guys coming up and sucking (Dan Kelly)

Mario and Rod are sounding great so far. I never realized how much I missed those guys until I heard their voices on opening day. They are easily one of the best announce teams in the league, and a nice reminder of the fact that it is Tiger season again. To quote Rod, “they really are great”

D-Train and Bondo…giving us WAY more than we ever could have hoped from those two spots and making Nate Robertson being lights out in Florida not hurt as much. 5 of 6 starts have been bearable, so lets build on that…

Mad Max Scherzer could be in line to move JS Giguere out of my man crush spot...Last year this spot was occupied by Edwin Jackson, but the sting of not winning a single bloody game in the last 6 weeks soured our relationship. You know what Edwin, one win in any of those games would have pushed the Tigers into the playoffs. You do realize you let us down, right? Thanks for being so great in the first half, but when the pressure was on and the fans were counting on you, you could not get it done…next…

The Bullpen…for the most part this has been a solid unit. Valverde, Zumaya, et al have been very solid. Ryan Perry has been a bit shaky, but for the most part, reliable…thanks for bailing out a few of our starters mentioned below…

The home crowd; I live in Toronto so I am so impressed that despite Detroit being mostly unemployed and ravaged by the recession, they are drawing 35,000 a game…are you paying attention Toronto???? You should be ashamed of yourselves

The Bad…

Justin Verlander and Rick Porcello…fucking brutal so far. Can you guys please get it together???? Not only are you eliminating one of the huge advantages we were supposed to have coming into 2010, you are KILLING my fantasy teams. Get it together guys, seriously.

Everett, Inge, Laird, Rayburn….you know how disheartening it is to have guys on base knowing that is the bottom of the order? What are you guys hitting, like .150 amongst the 4 of you? It’s like 1950; pitchers can take almost half the game of and still get outs. You keep starters in the game and kill rallies. It is lucky the top 5 are hitting about .800 or else we would be Baltimore. Time to start pulling your weight…or at least hitting it!!!! Last year, you could all get by on your defense (following 2008’s brutal defensive performance), but this year, its time to hit or else we will miss the playoffs again…lets get the bats working.

Jim Leyland is looking out of it so far…there have been…Oh my God, I just overheard, due up in the 7th, Rayburn, Laird and Santiago…3 up 3 down, 6 pitches is my bet. Sorry, where was I; Leyland has been outmatched on several occasions. Pinch running a catcher, with a catcher, not pinch-hitting a guy, but then replacing him defensively, each time resulting in a loss. You need to step up your game Mr. Leyland. The Tigers have enough holes without you making them larger…

The Ominous:

Falling behind early and often. Nearly every single game they are down by 3 or more runs. I cannot stress enough how exciting it is to watch them claw back every time, but at some point this shocking trend will catch up to them, and I hope it does not come to that. It is also causing me to lose a lot of sleep as they consistently crawl back, and even if they fall short, they make it close. I can never just go to bed because I know that they will undoubtedly tie it up at some point. However, for everyone's sake lets try and get out to some leads or else we will find ourselves in a bigger hole that can be recovered from. Tonight, they were down 4-0, and the score is now 8-4 Tigers….my heart cannot take this all season, and when we start playing the better teams, they will not let them back in it. Do not get me wrong, I love the excitement and am very much invested in the season, especially knowing we can take this division, but there needs to be a better early effort. The falling behind trend needs to stop, now.

Of course as I get to the end of this, Vladimir Guerrero is on his way up. I think my next blog may have to be about the 15 athletes I hate the most…not as people but due to the awful things they do to my teams. You all know what I mean: That guy who regardless of their status within the league just demolishes your team… suddenly I am grinding my teeth, thinking about Sergio Momesso….as I finished that Michael Young (a definite honourable mention on that list) almost shoots the gap, but Austin Jackson ROBS him (see the good)…Josh Hamilton strikes out, and Vladimir swats a single….seriously? I think I need to make a Guerrero voodoo doll…See you in a few days, where I will talk about who I hate in the sports world and why…I am thinking a top 15 may not cover it….Cruz strikes out to end the 7th so I am going to quit while they are still ahead…

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